bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
