OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize