It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
