a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
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