yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
