nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
