So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Randomize