sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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