what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Randomize
