what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
