Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
