I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
