Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
My ATM looks so different sober.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Randomize
