Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
