I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
