Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
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