he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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