i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
