Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Randomize
