Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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