I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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