Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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