am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
