things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
