Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
