he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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