I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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