I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Randomize