What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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