I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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