im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Randomize
