Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
