I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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