Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I was not drunk enough for that final.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
