I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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