sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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