Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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