Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
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