I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I deserve this hangover.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I wear drunk well.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize