I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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