Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
