Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Randomize
