we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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