they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
