All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Randomize
