I think I died a long time ago.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
