You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
