After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
how drunk are you?
Several
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
