My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
