I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
