oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
