the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
