I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Oh god it's open bar.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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