it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
