Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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