i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
