Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
