Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
