My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
