I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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