lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Randomize
