Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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