Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
