i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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