So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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