i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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