YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
At least life still wants to fuck me.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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