Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
