I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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