I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
