why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Randomize
