Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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