if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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