I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
