I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
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