I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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