sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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