they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Randomize
