Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
