2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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