i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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