My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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