Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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